


Matryoshka

by tealeavesandtrash



Category: Russian Doll (TV 2019), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Drug Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Time Loop, klaus is nadia but more fucked up, lots of death but none of it's permanent, major death only bc it's a russian doll au and thats the whole premise, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-11-27 04:20:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20942177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tealeavesandtrash/pseuds/tealeavesandtrash
Summary: On October 1st Klaus Hargreeves dies. On September 31st he wakes up again. And again. And again.Ben thinks he's having a bad trip. Diego thinks he's gone crazy. The cuter stranger he met on the bus thinks they're both cursed. Klaus just wants to know how to make it through his birthday without dying.





	1. Chapter 1

The first thing Klaus heard was a blaring car alarm.

He shot up - the sudden sound forcing him awake - and flopped back down almost immediately.

His head was swimming as he squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden brightness of daylight. He breathed in slowly through his nose and out through his mouth, letting the wave of nausea slowly roll over before trying again. 

He blinked, letting the world around him come into focus. He was in some dingy alley, apparently he’d managed to pass out behind a dumpster at some point last night. He couldn’t remember how he got there, or much of the night for that matter. Not that it bothered him, he didn’t remember most nights. The only thing that was mildly disappointing was the fact that he hadn't managed to find his way into some stranger's bed for the night.

The world swayed a little more as he stumbled to his feet and gave himself a quick pat-down, delighted to find not just his stash, but a few extra pills that he didn’t remember having at the start of the evening. He hadn’t gone out with any cash last night (he rarely did), and he couldn’t remember what exactly he did in exchange for them but he didn’t care. 

All’s well that ends well.

The car alarm was still going off as Klaus staggered by. The passenger window was smashed in but whoever was responsible had long fled the scene. He didn't give it a second thought, there was a lot worse that he worried a lot less about. Instead, he quickly swallowed one of the pills dry to curb the approaching comedown and sauntered out onto the street.

There was an electronics store on his left which he briefly stopped outside of, quickly glancing at the dozen TV screens broadcasting various news stations to get his bearings. September 31st, just gone five o’clock.

Perfect.

The evening was when he came alive. Hopping from club to club, trying to find someone gullible enough to trick into letting him stay the night or to pawn drugs from at criminally low prices. It was what he lived for - cheap highs and sex that was kinky enough to make him forget about himself.

He wandered past a coffee shop with a little outside seating area. There was an abandoned cup of coffee and a newspaper that had been left lying out on one of the tables which he quickly grabbed. The waitress inside caught his eye as he did so. He shot her a wink and a grin as he passed by. She didn’t care enough to do anything more than glare at him.

He downed the coffee in one and instantly regretted it. It was cold and bitter, but it had also free so who cared in the end. He chucked the empty mug into the next alley he walked past, smiling to himself at the satisfying smash that echoed out as the crockery collided with the floor. Someone behind him made some snide comment under their breath but Klaus didn’t bother to heed it any attention.

He flipped the paper over to read the headline. The cover was plastered with a large picture of Allison, he flickered to the article about his older sister and quickly skimmed it. Something about her divorce and winning custody of her daughter. He didn't care that much and he didn’t have the energy to be invested in her life. She couldn’t be bothered to stay in touch with him so why should he bother to try and keep up with her? Any interesting highlights he picked up from Ben and Diego when he saw them.

But there was still a pang of jealousy that flared up when he saw articles or snippets of TV shows about how successful she had become and how wonderful her swanky Hollywood lifestyle was, how _inspirational_ she was for being able to rise up from their abusive childhood to reach the heights of stardom while Klaus had only managed to fall further down the path of self-destruction.

He shoved those thoughts from his head as quickly as he shoved the paper into a bin. There was no need to dwell on what could have been. Besides, Klaus had a great life - no rent, no taxes, no bills (excluding the list of IOUs he had with various dealers) and the freedom to spend every night partying to his heart's content without fear of reprisal.

He continued to meander the streets for a while until he decided on a plan for the night.

At one point he stopped at a crosswalk and glanced down to spot a slightly soggy five-dollar bill on the sidewalk, half-submerged in a puddle. He grinned and bent down to grab it. Possibly the first honest dollar he’d held in months. He stared at it a moment before quickly spinning on his heel he quickly and headed back the way he’d come.

It was the day before his birthday after all, and there was only one way to spend such a special occasion.

On the corner of the street, next to an old garage stood Griddy’s - the best diner in the city in Klaus’ humble opinion. Out of all the shitty things he’d gone through growing up, Griddy’s was the one place that stood out as having no bad memories attached - just good food served with a friendly smile.

As he pushed open the door he was greeted by the sweet smell of freshly baked treats and coffee. Agnes was cleaning empty tables, wearing the familiar pink uniform. She glanced up when the door opened and greeting Klaus with a wide smile. “Klaus! How are you? Have you been keeping out of trouble?”

Agnes had been working here for as long as Klaus could remember, she’d always been there at whatever time of day or night with a mug of hot chocolate and the best doughnuts in the city.

Klaus grinned wickedly and took a seat at the counter. “Oh, you know me, Agnes! Trouble is my middle name.”

The waitress rolled her eyes but smiled fondly and made her way round to the other side of the counter, “I suppose somethings don’t change, eh?”

“Did I at least get prettier?” Klaus joked as he rested his chin in his hands and batted his eyelashes at her.

“You’ve _all_ grown to be loverly adults,” she answered diplomatically, “how are your other siblings doing?”

“I mean they’re all still alive," Klaus shrugged, "but I’m seeing Ben later. It’s actually why I’m here. I need a present for our birthday tomorrow.”

"Oh happy birthday! What can I get for you two?”

“Chocolate sprinkle doughnut, my dear! The biggest, chocolatest one you have please!”

Agnes laughed as she bent down to pull two from the display, slipping them into a paper bag. “Second one's on the house, a little something for tomorrow,” she said with a soft smile as she passed the bag over to Klaus.

He grinned and thanked her, passing the damp five dollars over with his other hand. “It’s a little soggy, hope that okay.”

Agnes just chuckled and fished out the correct change from the till, leaving the bill on the side to dry out. “It’s no problem at all.”

“You are a legend, Agnes my dear!” Klaus said as he hopped off the stool and made his way out of the diner.

“Try to stay out of trouble!” Agnes called after him. Klaus just shot her a smirk and a one-finger salute as the door closed behind him.

It was getting late by the time he reached the little bookshop on the other side of town. The sign on the door said closed but Klaus paid it no attention.

The bell tinkled as the door swung open.

“Sorry we’re closed for the day,” a voice came from the backroom.

“What, can’t a guy come say hi to his favorite sibling?” Klaus called back as the door slammed shut behind him.

“Klaus?" Ben's head poked out from the door, "gimme two secs.”

Klaus hummed and hopped up onto the checkout. He swung his legs back and forth, letting the relaxing mix of the faint radio and Ben’s clattering next door wash over him.

“What’re you doing here?”

Klaus let his head drop all the way back to look at Ben upside down.

“Can’t I just hang out with my bro?” He asked innocently.

Ben rolled his eyes but doesn’t argue, which Klaus took as an invitation to stay.

“Besides,” he said, swiveling around to face his brother, “I had to deliver your birthday present.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “My birthday present? Why didn’t you just wait until tomorrow?”

Klaus shrugged, “life’s short, and I might have eaten it by then.” He reached into the deep pockets of his battered shearling coat and fished out the slightly squashed paper bag, “chocolate sprinkle doughnut from Griddy’s! You’re favoritue!”

“You mean your favourite,” Ben pointed out with a smirk but didn’t object when Klaus the and offered him one. “You didn’t steal from Agnes did you?” He added cautiously before taking a bite.

Klaus gasped dramatically and grasps at his heart, “my own brother! Accusing me of stealing from the sweetest old lady in town! You wound me!”

Ben snorted and took a bite.

“Nah I found a fiver on the sidewalk, figured I’d treat myself,” he elaborated after also taking a bite, talking through the chew instead of swallowing. “There are many, many dark things I have done and will continue to do, but steal from Agnes will never be one of them.”

“I would probably have to disown you if you did.”

“That’s fair, too many fond memories of that place to do them dirty.”

Ben continued to talk while they ate, filling him in on the family gossip. Vanya had moved from third to second chair in her orchestra, Five was working on some new big research project at the University, Diego's on-again-off-again relationship with Eudora was officially on again. The last one made Klaus particularly happy - he had met Patch a few times now and out of all the people who had arrested him, she was one of the nicer ones.

“Well, I best be off," Klaus announced when he had finished his goughnut, hopping down from the counter and licking each fingertip for the last remnants of chocolate. "Places to go, people to see.” 

“Why don’t you stay at mine tonight? We can order takeout and watch shitty TV, just like old times,” Ben quickly offered before he made it to the door.

Klaus felt a knot as he saw the sudden flash of desperation in Ben's expression.

It felt like pity.

It made Klaus skin crawl.

He didn’t want pity, he could handle things by himself. “Sorry got big plans tonight! Maybe some other time?” He said with a shrug as he made his way across the shop floor.

“Call it your birthday present!” Ben said, seemingly able to sense Klaus’ reluctance to accept help.

“Being your brother is the best present!” Klaus called as he slipped out the door. It was cliche, but it bought enough time for the door to slam shut behind him before Ben could protest.

The temperature had dropped considerably as Klaus began to wander the streets again. He had no plan, but he never had much of a plan. He drifted through the city, letting the world take him where he needed to be.

The image of Ben's face kept popping up into his mind, that look of pity drilling into him.

He hated it.

He didn’t need pity or charity, he could handle himself. He’d been living on the streets for over a decade, he was basically a pro. He did not want nor need anyone else’s help. He’d managed fine by himself so far, and he’d continue to manage by himself until the day he died.

There was a half-crushed joint in the back pocket of his jeans, probably from last night or maybe even the night before. He bummed some papers from a guy standing outside a bar and re-rolled it on the go - one of the many specialist talents he’d learnt in life.

He didn’t light it until he reached the river. Leaning up against the railing, he propped his elbows up as he took a slow drag. He watched the world go by - cyclists and cars whizzed behind him in his peripheral vision while the occasional herring gull landed in the vast water ahead. More and more lights flickered on in the surrounding buildings as the sun dropped below the horizon.

When the joint was all but burnt, Klaus tossed the roach over the edge into the water. He turned and made his way up the path. Not too far away was an old warehouse that threw some insane raves. And, as he neared, the distant beating bass made it clear that Klaus is in for a treat.

It was still relatively early on in the night by his standards, but Klaus took two more pills and headed inside.

The rave was hot and sweaty and Klaus lived for it.

He ducked nimbly around the party-goers, making his way over to the bar as he let his body sway to the pulsating techno beat.

This was home for Klaus - a hundred strangers, a seemingly endless drug supply, and plenty of opportunities to score a short term fling.

He flitted around, flirting with any guy or girl that came his way for just long enough to get a free drink before moving onto the next.

Just like every night, it started off slow with drinks or half a joint, but as the night wore on he moved to popping pills and keys of ket.

The music was too loud and the lights were flashing too brightly, but Klaus embraced it.

He craved the numbness that came with being so blitzed he couldn’t remember what his own name was.

People began to blur in and out of each other and that was a good sign because it meant he wouldn’t be able to remember any of them or anything they did.

There was a guy leaning up against the bar - big, muscular and covered and tattoos. Klaus slid up to him, running his hand along the stranger's arm and whispering flirtatiously in his ear. He didn’t know what he was saying. His mind and his mouth had disconnected a while ago and the music was too loud for him to focus. But whatever he said seemed to work because the next thing he knew, the man was leading him outside.

The cold air hit like a brick wall but Klaus was so used to freezing nights by now he didn’t let it phase him.

The guy leaned down to whisper in Klaus’ ear, “if you want me to score for you, you’re going to have to give something in return.”

Klaus hummed in agreement and wrapped his arms around the man's neck, “whatever you want, baby.”

That answer seemed to satisfy the man. He turned to walk away but a quick head jerk indicated Klaus to follow. He half skipped to catch up, clinging onto the man's arm as they walked - partly to keep up the flirty facade and partly to stop himself stumbling about the place.

Klaus didn’t remember much once they got back to the drab apartment.

He got handed a needle at one point, he could feel a tourniquet tightening around his arm as he pulled it with his mouth, there was a prick in the crook of his elbow and then he was injecting something with his free hand that _really _hit the spot.

There was sloppy, messy sex that he zoned in and out of. He just lay there and let the man do whatever he wanted with his body. He didn't mind what happened, it was a fair exchange in his eyes. Besides, at that point, Klaus was too stoned to care about clinging to consciousness.

At some point later, he felt himself get hauled up out of the bed and dragged out into the hallway.

If he were in a state of sound mind he would have kicked up a fuss about being thrown out at god knows what hour. But instead, all that came was a slurred, indistinguishable protest which didn’t hold up very well against someone capable of physically picking him up and literally throwing him out.

It was still dark as Klaus staggered down the street.

The comedown is going to be hell.

He could feel the twinges in his stomach already, almost practicing for when he’d be hurling his guts up in shaking sweats later.

He made out the glow of a convenience store on the corner, standing out against the dark night like a call of salvation. He had no money, but he knew he was quick and nimble enough to make it out with a bottle or two or something. At least that was the case if he was slightly more sober, but he was too out of it to consider that right now.

He paid no attention to the cashier, he didn’t have the capacity to focus on anything but trying to keep the buzz going as long as possible.

He made a beeline for the alcohol, grabbing one bottle and screwing the lid off. He chugged half of it without a second thought.

Someone started yelling something but he didn’t care, the burn in his throat was enough to know he’s got a hold of something decent. He grabbed another bottle and staggered to the door.

“_‘s aight ‘m goin’ now_,” he slurred at the cashier.

They were still yelling. Klaus made out the word ‘police’ and knew it time to book it.

He made a mad dash out the door, falling over his own feet and darting down the street, dropping one of the bottles in his getaway.

He weaved his way through back streets and alleyways, unsure of whether or not there was even anyone following him, but making it as difficult as possible for them if they were.

He finally allowed himself to slow down to a stop when he made it to a park. He didn’t know where he was but he didn’t care.

He took however many pills he had left in one go with a swig of the alcohol. He tried to read the label and find out what he was drinking but his vision is too blurry. He could tell it was strong stuff and that's all that mattered really.

He slumped down at the base of a tree.

Every part of his body ached.

He tried for another swig but his hands were shaking so hard from the cold and the high he ended up spilling more of it down himself than he managed to drink.

He let the bottle fall into his lap, unsure if there was still alcohol left in it or if he finished it all off.

His head lolled back against the tree trunk.

He didn’t have the energy to do anything.

There was a cold chill in the air that he knew deep down could be deadly, but he didn't have it in him to button up his coat.

All he wanted to do was sleep it all away.

Maybe he should have taken Ben up on the offer of a place to crash his place, but it was too late now. He couldn’t even remember whereabouts Ben lived even if he wanted to go round.

He was so tired.

He let his eyes slip closed.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he just let everything slip away right now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why focus on writing one fic when I could start posting multiple fics all at once and lose any possibility about updating any of them regularly?  
HIWTHS is still gonna be the main fic I focus on so I have no idea how sporadic these updates are going to be, but writing this is a nice change of tone and it’s good for when I get stuck with writers block


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing Klaus heard was a blaring car alarm.

He shot up - the sudden sound forcing him awake - and flopped back down almost immediately.

His head was swimming as he squeezed his eyes shut against the sudden brightness of daylight. He breathed in slowly through his nose and out through his mouth, letting the wave of nausea slowly roll over before trying again.

He blinked, letting the world around him come into focus. He was in some dingy alley, apparently he’d managed to pass out behind a dumpster at some point last night. He didn’t remember passing out here, but thinking back to the amount he took last night he wasn’t surprised. He remembered snippets - a rave, free drugs for bad sex, a park, was he chased by the police at one point? It wouldn’t have been the first time. 

He stumbled to his feet, his hangover was nowhere near as bad as he anticipated. Maybe it was god's birthday present to him. Although it did take him a hot second to remember that it was actually his birthday today, assuming he hadn't passed out for longer than 24 hours.

A quick pat-down of his pockets resulted in a small stash of pills and a crushed joint. It was a bit of a surprise, considering how fucked he had been last night, but it wasn't unwelcome. Klaus said a small thank you to past-him for the hindsight to leave something to ease the come-down.

The car in the alley was still going off as he stumbled passed. The passenger window was smashed but the perp had already booked it. Klaus took a peep inside, but not seeing anything of value, he left it untouched. It was the second time in a row he’d been woken up by a car alarm but he didn’t give it a second thought. He was never one for politics or social commentary. So what if vehicle crime is on the rise, just meant the cops would be less focused on busting his ass for possession or petty theft. 

He sauntered out onto the street, making his way downtown. He considered visiting Ben, it was their birthday after all and would make a nice change to how he normally spent his time. But then again he had seen him yesterday and he wasn't really in the mood for disappointed glances and comments with the underlying 'you're throwing your life away' message.

Besides, Ben had a nice life with a steady job and a decent apartment. He probably already had plans to spend his birthday evening doing proper adult things. Maybe he’d invited Vanya or Diego round to have dinner and celebrate in a grown-up way. 

Not that Klaus was bitter about them hanging out without him. It wasn’t really his scene and they probably wouldn't want their homeless-junkie brother gatecrashing their party. It'd be for the best if he stayed clear.

There was a little coffee shop down the street as Klaus wandered aimlessly through the city and on one to outdoor tables he spotted an abandoned cup of coffee and a magazine. He reached out to grab the mug but paused a moment before reaching for the magazine instead. 

He’d never had been a great fan of coffee, it was too bitter and probably tasted even worse after sitting outside getting cold for god knows how long. He flipped over the magazine to find an article about Allison and the niece he’d never met. It was a story he’d already heard, something about a custody battle he didn’t care about. 

He glanced at the date. September 30th. It was yesterday’s news, no wonder he felt a vague sense of Deja Vu reading it. He chucked it in the next trash can he walked by, no need to hang on to the past. 

He kept walking.

At the next crosswalk, Klaus glanced at the ground and spotted a five-dollar bill floating in a puddle. A grin broke out on his face as he scooped it up. Maybe his luck was beginning to turn. Ten dollars in twenty-four hours, in exchange for absolutely nothing.

There was only one way to celebrate. 

“You know, this is the second five dollars I’ve found in two days!” He announced as he pushed open the door of Griddy’s.

Agnes looked up from where she was cleaning empty tables, wearing the familiar pink uniform. “Klaus!” She said with a wide smile, “how are you? Have you been keeping out of trouble?” 

Klaus shrugged and slipped into the booth she was cleaning. “You know, I think God might finally be giving me a break! So to celebrate, I thought I’d come spend my birthday with my favorite doughnut maker.”

Agnes chuckled and pulled out a pen and pad, “Well what can I get the birthday boy?”

Klaus thought for a moment, “Hot cocoa and … do you still those doughnuts with the strawberry jam and whipped cream filling?”

“I’ve just finished a fresh batch,” Agnes said as scribbled down the order, “I’ll bring it over in a minute.”

Klaus leant back into his seat, letting his eyes slip closed for a minute as the sweet smell of coffee and baking drifted over him. Griddy’s felt more like home than any other place Klaus had lived. Warm and welcoming, with baked treats waiting with open arms. 

It kinda reminded him of his mother, she was always pottering about the kitchen and ready with a soft smile and comforting hug whenever any of them needed it. But after years of suffering through the farther's abuse, Klaus had seen the way she had slowly deteriorated. She had always managed to maintain the perfect housewife facade, but as time went by her spark slowly seemed the seep away, leaving the shell of the person she used to be. She still cooked and cleaned and doted on them as much as before, but by now her behaviour had become almost robotic. Like everyone in the Hargreaves family, she was pretty and presentable enough to look at but a broken mess on the inside.

“One strawberries and cream doughnut and a hot cocoa, extra marshmallows and whipped on the house,” Agnes’ voice pulled Klaus back to reality as she placed the food and drink in front of him. 

“You are a doughnut goddess that I do not deserve,” Klaus grinned, eagerly taking the mug of cocoa in his hands.

Klaus stayed in Griddy’s for what felt like hours, watching people walk by the window and sipped the cocoa until it was cold. Agnes flitted about the diner, cleaning up and serving other customers. He figured it’d be best not to disturb her too much during work. 

When the sun began to set, he pulled out the five-dollar bill, still slightly damp, and left on top of the napkin. “Delicious as ever!” he called to Agnes as he made his way out. 

“Try to stay out of trouble!” Agnes shouted after him. 

There a chill in the air as Klaus wandered down the road. He pulled his coat a little tighter around him and fished out one of the pills from the little baggie to fight off the cold. 

He loitered around outside a couple of bars, smooth-talking the patrons into getting free cigarettes and swiping the half-finished drinks that had been abandoned in the smoking areas. 

After hitting up a few places, he spotted a group of friends stumbling out a bar. They seemed plastered and Klaus could hear one of them going about some party that was going on. They were already shitfaced and looking for a good time, and if they knew where to go to get one, Klaus wasn’t going to turn the opportunity down. 

He followed the group through the city, keeping enough distance so as not to appear _ too _creepy, but close enough to not miss out on whatever good time they had planned.

They weaved through the streets and argued about the right direction and changed their minds about five times until they finally wound up at the same warehouse as last night. Klaus wasn’t normally a big fan of visiting the same place two nights on the trot - he was a creature of variety and hated the idea of getting stuck in a routine - but since he was already here, he didn’t see much point in leaving now. 

He slipped inside and began to turn on the charm, flirting with everyone and everything to score a free drink or hit. 

As he made his way to the bar he spotted a big tattooed man. Normally Klaus would pounce on that, but he looked too familiar which probably meant Klaus owed him money. Deciding it was best to stay clear, he made his way back across the floor where he spotted a group of very drunk girls. 

They were young, naive and drunk as fuck. 

Perfect. 

Klaus knew that type. Well, not in creepy date-rape way, but they looked like the stereotypical bitchy white girls living off daddy's trust fund. The type who would go absolutely crazy over having a gay best friend.

And if it meant free drinks for him, Klaus was more than happy to skip the lecture on pansexuality and the gender binary - or lack thereof in order to schmooze them. 

And the girls drank it up. They bought him drink after drink, they flattered him with compliments and insisted he _had_ to go shopping with them. (He decided it was better to not mention that he found the mesh crop topped they loved in a dumpster and hadn’t washed it in over a month.)

He turned up the camp and tried not to cringe too much when they started saying ‘yass queen’ and calling him ‘sister’ because after a while one of the girls (Chelsea? Courtney? It was something beginning with a C) disappeared and came back with a baggie of coke which she absolutely insisted they all had to share. 

They partied for hours, Klaus got pleasantly buzzed of the free alcohol and drug stream they provided so when the girls insisted he take them to a gay club, who was he to deny them if it meant them buying him even more drinks plus the added bonus of the chance of him pulling. 

He lead the group of them outside and back toward the centre of the city. They trailed behind him, all clinging on to each other in a little huddle as they stumbled and swayed all other the place. If he were of sounder mind then maybe he’d worry about them - clearly unable to handle themselves and an easy target to creeps. But in all honesty, all Klaus could think about was getting them into the next bar as soon as possible so they could continue to fuel his alcoholism and drug addiction. 

He stepped out into the road, mind to hazy to check the lights before walking out. 

He heard a car horn go. 

He felt something slam into the side of him.

He felt the cold tarmac road.

He heard screaming. 

And then...

He felt nothing. 

  
  


The first thing Klaus heard was a blaring car alarm.

He stumbled to his feet, clutching desperately at his face and chest just to make sure he was alive. Head, chest, arms, legs, everything was intact.

The sun was bright out, he was behind a dumpster, and it was a rare day when he remembered _ everything _from last night. 

He was hit by a car. 

He could remember getting thrown through the air and lying in a crumpled mess in the middle of the street. 

He could remember feeling the cold tarmac and hearing the screams and shouts from people around echo throughout his mind.

He could remember that _oh fuck _feeling when he realised what was happening and that weird serene relief as his body slowly gave up.

He should be dead, or at the very least catatonic in hospital. 

But he wasn’t.

He was alive and he was standing and moving about. 

He stood in shock for just a second before bolting down the street. 

He bumped into more people than he avoided and by the time he reached the bookshop he could barely breathe, but he made in record time. 

“Ben!” He yelled as soon as he flung the door open, startling a couple of customers. 

His brother looked up from the checkout with a look of confusion. “Klaus? what’re you doing here?”

Klaus just threw himself over the counter in exhaustion, trying to catch his breath. He couldn't remember the last time he had run that far.

"Klaus? What's wrong?"

“I’m pretty sure I died last night. Like proper full-on died,” Klaus sais, voice muffled slightly by his position. 

“Right,” Ben spoke slowly, “how much did you take last night?”

Klaus shot up at that, finally meeting Ben's eyes. “It wasn’t a drug thing!” he protested, “I was hit by a car!”

Ben frowned. “Okay. Gimme two secs,” he said before quickly walking across the shop floor.

Klaus let his body slide onto the floor and leant back against the counter. He listened as Ben went to talk to the customers. He didn't hear to what he said to them, but they all seemed to leave pretty quickly. Klaus didn't pay much attention to them, pulling his legs up to his chest instead and resting his head on his knees. Ben disappeared into the backroom, reappearing a couple of minutes later with two mugs and making himself comfortable next to Klaus on the carpeted floor in front of the till. 

They set in silence for a minute. Klaus waited for Ben to speak first, he didn't know what he could say. He was still trying to process it himself.

“You were hit by a car?" Ben finally spoke up. "You seem okay now, physically at least.”

“I know I’m fine now, but I’m pretty sure I broke all my bones!”

Ben pursed his lips in thought for a moment, “start from the beginning.”

Klaus sighed and took a sip of the tea before speaking, “I don't know, dude. I woke up, wandered about, went to Griddy’s, wandered about some more, went to a rave, met some girls, they wanted me to show them some gays bars, we start walking through town then bam! Car. Shitty way to end a birthday.”

After Ben didn't say anything right way, Klaus glanced over to him. “What?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“What do I mean by what? It’s just piss poor timing to have a near-death experience.”

“Klaus,” Ben spoke slowly, worry seeping into his voice.

“I know it seems crazy but-“

“-Our birthday is tomorrow.”

Klaus just blinked at him for a moment.

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is,” Ben insisted, “are you sure haven’t taken anything?”

“No,” Klaus corrected him, “it was yesterday because the day before I came in and gave you a doughnut as an early birthday present, remember? And you asked me why I didn’t wait tomorrow, aka yesterday.”

“Klaus, this is the first time I’ve seen you in two weeks.”

And Klaus felt his heart drop as he heard those words. 

“_No," _he quickly corrected, "on September 30th I woke up behind a dumpster, found five dollars, went to Griddy’s, got you that doughnut, went to that rave, passed out in some alley. Yesterday - _ on our birthday _\- I woke up that alley, went to Griddy’s with another five dollars I found and…” he let the world trail off as he finally started putting the pieces together. 

_Fuck_.

Ben was saying something but Klaus wasn't listening. He grabbed Bens phone which was sitting on the counter. The screen lit up as he frantically pressed the home button.

September 30th.

“Oh shit,” he whispered under his breath.

He'd lived this day twice already.

This wasn’t the first time he died, and he hadn’t even noticed the first one. 

He must have overdosed or passed out and frozen to death or something the first time but he'd been too fucked up to even notice. He could of been fucking murdered for all he knew. He died and he was too messed up to even care himself.

He had died twice already in the space of 48 hrs. Or in no time at all, apparently, it was still September 30th and he was still alive. 

He felt his chest tighten up as his mind began to race out of control.

Maybe he'd just taken a really bad trip, maybe it had all been some fucked up hallucination. 

But it didn’t feel like an overdose, it felt real.

Maybe this was all some elaborate prank.

Maybe he was going crazy.

He could remember the sensation of flying through the air and lying on the cold tarmac.

He could remember his body giving up and slipping away.

He could remember what it felt like to die. 

“-laus? Klaus can you hear me? I just need you to breathe with me, okay?”

Bens voice pulled him back to reality and he looked up to find his brother kneeling in front of him. “You with me?”

Klaus just nodded, carefully trying to imitate Ben's slow breathing.

He was alive. Right now he was alive and breathing and sitting next to his brother on his shop floor. He was okay, he was alive.

“Good, how are you feeling,” Ben asked gently. 

Klaus opened his mouth and shut it again, unable to convey in words what was rushing through his mind. He could feel tears prick in the corners of his eyes. He died, he should be dead. But he was alive just sat in Ben's shop. 

Maybe he was dead and this was the after life? 

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” he whispered. 

Ben just etched closer, gently pulling him into an awkward side-hug, “that's okay. We’ll figure it out together, okay?”

“I’m not going crazy,” he sniffled into Ben;s shoulder. 

Ben just nodded. “Why don’t you stay at mine tonight? We can order takeout and watch shitty TV, just like old times,” he asked. It didn’t go unnoticed that he didn’t say he believed Klaus wasn’t crazy, but he have the energy to argue that right now. Besides, maybe it would be a good distraction from the existential panic attack he was on the verge of.

Ben lived about half an hour away. His apartment was small but sufficient, and although Klaus didn’t recognise it from the outside, he did remember the inside quite well. 

“Diego’s going to come round in a bit, he’s bringing pizza.”

“Yay,” Klaus muttered sarcastically as he flopped onto the couch. Not that he didn’t love free food, or his brother for that matter, but Diego was a cop and _ very _uptight about drugs and Klaus really could not be arsed with the inevitable rant about how he needed to go back to rehab. He had more pressing matters to deal with at the moment

Ben rolled his eyes and sat down next to him, “when was the last time you spoke to him?”

Klaus thought for a moment, “a couple of months ago? I think he was there when I got arrested last.”

“You think?”

“I was on _a lot_ of drugs, I don’t remember shit after the place got busted.”

Ben thought for a moment, “And you’re sure you didn’t take anything last night?”

Klaus bristled at the comment. “Of course I took _ somethings _but I told you, this isn’t a drug thing,” he muttered

“I know I just, I want to rule out all the possibilities.”

Klaus snorted and just grabbed the TV remote from the coffee table. He flicked through the channels, not bothering to settle for one, trying his best to ignore Ben’s burning stare. He didn't blame him for assuming it was something drug-related, but it still stung that Ben clearly didn't trust him enough to take his word on it. And sure, Klaus was not the most honest person out there. He had stolen and lied to people, even his own family on a number of occasions, but this was different and he _sucked _that Ben couldn't seem to grasp that. 

The doorbell rang but Klaus didn’t flinch, stuck in a trance of sifting through two-second snippets of TV programs. Ben got up to answer the door. Klaus listened to the quiet muttering between him and Diego. He felt his stomach knot. He knew exactly what they were talking about. _'Klaus is having a really weird trip' _or _'Klaus might have gone crazy.' _It was hard to fight the urge to just bolt out the window and down the fire escape.

“Watcha watching?” Diego announced as he walked into the living room, dropping a stack of pizza boxes on the coffee table next to where Klaus had put his feet up.

Klaus shrugged and dropped the remote in favour of grabbing one of the pizzas.

Diego took a seat at the other end of the sofa while Ben made himself comfortable on the floor. He could practically _feel_ the looks they were giving each other. 

“So,” Diego asked slowly, “how’ve you been doing?”

Klaus just shrugged, shoveling a slice of pepperoni pizza into his mouth instead.

“How long has been since you last tried rehab?”

And there was rehab comment. Klaus scowled at Diego over his pizza. “This isn’t a drug thing!” he snapped.

“How do you know that?” 

“Because I do! I can just tell!”

“Well, what about last?” Diego countered. "You could tell that was real then as well."

Klaus bristled at the way Diego so casually brought that up. Back when they were teenagers and were still been living under the same roof of the sadistic prick they called Dad. It’d been the first time he’d come close to overdosing and that, coupled with a few panic attacks and the general trauma of Reginald Hargreeves, had taken him to a _ very _dark place which he didn’t particularly like remising on.

“That was different,” he hissed.

“Is it different? How, exactly?”

“Because it is! I’m not crazy!”

“Klaus we just want to help,” Ben added softly.

“Well if this is meant to you being helpful, don’t fucking bother,” he spat, springing to his feet. “I don’t want your help,” he added as he stormed out the flat. He could hear Diego calling after him as he fled down the stairs two at a time.

He didn’t want their help if they were just going to interrogate him about his addiction or past mental health issues. 

This was different, he knew it was different. He couldn’t put it into words but it felt different from anything else.

The evening air was brisk as Klaus emerged out onto the street, he did a quick turn on his heel and started stalking off down the street. 

Moments later he heard the door of the apartment complex slam and Diego call his name again.

Klaus ignored him, weaving in and out of people in an attempt to lose his older brother. Sure Diego was faster and stronger, but Klaus knew enough back alleys and shortcuts to avoid him for long enough.

He was too busy to notice the lights change as he stepped out into the road.

And then he heard a car horn and the screeching of tyres.

Fuck.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This spent a solid month saved as a draft so I figured it was finally time to post it. Thank you for bearing with me x


End file.
